Aye. Here. ( here is important. it's not like she's living anything close to this life back home. ) ...Didn't think I could do that.
( she had to be prodded into thinking of it as an option. back home, that option disappears. maybe completely. it's so easy to do shit like that here, they seem to practically beg the otherworlders to do so.
there's no way she'd get away with starting a business so easily back home. they're not exactly chomping at the bit to give parkour gym spaces to people who left school at 16, barely scraping their grades together enough to be acceptable. )
Can't do that back home. Just follow orders. ( go here, investigate these rumours. better, true, than being shipped out to war, but still.
nothing more than being a weapon. )
You're good at fightin'. Physical shit like that. Kinda shit people like to be trained in.
( swordfighting, sure. but there's other, related, shit he can probably do, right? )
You run? Do weights?
( it'd be easy to move into being a physical trainer or something. )
So? Y' say that like it's a bad thing. A manslayer jus' needs t' do what they're told.
[ he can see what she's trying to do but it's evidently complicated by the fact that he can't see any reason to reject that way of living. he's said those exact words so many times it's almost automatic. ]
Ain't so bad workin' for a decent Master. Y' could do a lot worse than endin' up in Chaldea.
[ like grail wars. or weird singularities. izō shakes the last few drops out of the tokkuri and gestures for someone to bring another. he's not that drunk yet... ]
Y'mean like just pickin' shit up 'cause it's heavy? People really pay ya for that? They can't run on their own?
[ he really doesn't do much at here in avalon but in his defence, people didn't run or lift things unless they needed to in his experience ]
[ the fact that izō had zero options in life other than what he ended up doing likely contributes to his stubbornness. that and how people talked about him; the idea of trying anything new and failing doesn't help him feel any more confident. but drinking at least helps him feel less, period. ]
Why? Doin' stuff on purpose y' can jus' go out an' do anyway for real sounds the same as some kinda dojo shit.
[ the alcohol is also why he's forgotten how they got to this. ]
What's this gotta do with anythin' anyway? My problem ain't 'cause I don't run.
[ he remains sceptical at best. yes, he can physically handle things but offer guidance? that's where he's doubtful. ]
Y' know what I used t' do for trainin'? Got a big fuckin' heavy branch, carved that shit up so it was somethin' like a trainin' sword an' swung that 'round 'til it quit bein' difficult.
[ he empties another cup and wishes this was all over too. there's less guilt involved trying to drink himself into a stupor than when he's doing it in someone else's body. ]
Ain't no master or nothin'. 'Cause when I was strong enough t' beat everybody who was s'posed t' be teachin' me somethin' I got bored and fucked off. Rider's the guy who knows how t' do shit like that. Got one of those li'l certificates or whatever says ya know what the fuck yer doin'...
[ he appreciates the attempt, he does, but he's very stubbornly convinced that he doesn't have a thing to offer anyone that isn't his ability to kill. at least kate can continue appreciating the fact that she's probably doing pretty good for herself... by comparison? ]
Ain't expectin' ya t' have answers neither. Already true whatcha said once about how dead things oughta stay dead.
( that last comment hits home. it's not that she's changed that opinion, not at all. dead things should stay dead. it's less complicated that way. ghosts are stupid constructs of Avalon and she's glad her magic doesn't force her to witness them, and the thought of coming back from the dead just sends a shiver down her spine.
if she's dead, let her rest. and the same should go for Manslayer and his ilk. why drag the dead into the wars of the living?
god. )
What're we doin'...?
( why is she sitting here, trying to convince a dude who doesn't want to be convinced? why are they playing house while the multiverse hangs in the balance? what is the point in all of this?
[ izō is doodling shapes in the rings of water left on the bar by the cups for a little bit. he's thinking, which usually means he needs to drink more, and he hates thinking. ]
The fuck's in it for him anyway? Or—... anybody? Y' think people can really be happy here? Knowin' what's out there if ya take a walk.
[ meaning the end of the multiverse and all, since he knows that's a field trip some people can make. he has opted out of that, personally. ]
( you and her both, Manslayer. she doesn't need the reminder, and what does staring at that shit do other than make this mountain seem even larger? )
Think you forget for a while.
( it's been the hardest part of this for her. sure, she knows why she's here, she knows the job they've got and the importance it holds to her loved ones, but when nothing happens for so long, when everyone's going about their days as though nothing is going wrong, you become complacent. you have to find a way to fill the hours between disasters, after all.
it's hard to enjoy this when the weight of why you're there keeps creeping up on you, knocking you breathless with guilt. )
... I do.
( congrats, Manslayer. she's drunk enough to admit that aloud. )
[ it surprises him a little. probably because she handles her business and no one's making her do that, so he figures she's probably more dutiful about the whole calamity thing than he's ever been. ]
What's real fucked is the day I got here I said "I ain't savin' shit".
[ how dare this place make him care about things??? now look at him. but the disasters all hit a little too close to home, what with the sort of time he grew up in and all. ]
One day I'm gonna say I ain't gettin' involved an' stick with it...
( work is both a symptom of forgetting and a way to keep her sanity while stuck here. if she didn't have that structure, that frame for her day, there'd be nothing but alcohol and sex to shut out the worst thoughts from her mind.
she needs to work. she doesn't know who she is without it. doesn't want to know who she is without it.
but rip, Izo. she gets that, though. )
Said I were only here to save Marc 'n' Ainsworth. Rest of you could burn for all I care.
( nowadays... she doesn't know how true that is. could she kill Izo if it meant saving her brother and best friend? Caster? Rei? Rider? Thanatos or any of the myriad other people she's grown to enjoy the company of? )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Aye. Here. ( here is important. it's not like she's living anything close to this life back home. ) ...Didn't think I could do that.
( she had to be prodded into thinking of it as an option. back home, that option disappears. maybe completely. it's so easy to do shit like that here, they seem to practically beg the otherworlders to do so.
there's no way she'd get away with starting a business so easily back home. they're not exactly chomping at the bit to give parkour gym spaces to people who left school at 16, barely scraping their grades together enough to be acceptable. )
Can't do that back home. Just follow orders. ( go here, investigate these rumours. better, true, than being shipped out to war, but still.
nothing more than being a weapon. )
You're good at fightin'. Physical shit like that. Kinda shit people like to be trained in.
( swordfighting, sure. but there's other, related, shit he can probably do, right? )
You run? Do weights?
( it'd be easy to move into being a physical trainer or something. )
no subject
[ he can see what she's trying to do but it's evidently complicated by the fact that he can't see any reason to reject that way of living. he's said those exact words so many times it's almost automatic. ]
Ain't so bad workin' for a decent Master. Y' could do a lot worse than endin' up in Chaldea.
[ like grail wars. or weird singularities. izō shakes the last few drops out of the tokkuri and gestures for someone to bring another. he's not that drunk yet... ]
Y'mean like just pickin' shit up 'cause it's heavy? People really pay ya for that? They can't run on their own?
[ he really doesn't do much at here in avalon but in his defence, people didn't run or lift things unless they needed to in his experience ]
no subject
People pay for all sorts of shit. ( she has been a woman in the age of the internet. trust her on this. ) Makes more sense'n most.
( drink, please. going down this avenue is easier than trying to help anyone with anything romantic, at least. )
... Taking you to t' gym when this is over.
( not her gym, but a gym-gym. the kind with magic treadmills and weights. )
no subject
Why? Doin' stuff on purpose y' can jus' go out an' do anyway for real sounds the same as some kinda dojo shit.
[ the alcohol is also why he's forgotten how they got to this. ]
What's this gotta do with anythin' anyway? My problem ain't 'cause I don't run.
no subject
she shrugs, rolling shoulders which aren't hers, and how does even that simple motion feel weird in this body? she'll be glad when this is over. )
Helps you target certain muscles and shit. ( that's as best as she knows. that and it helps people who work in sedentary jobs, she supposes. )
Sayin' you could work at one.
( he's more than physically fit enough to manage basic shit like that, right? )
no subject
[ he remains sceptical at best. yes, he can physically handle things but offer guidance? that's where he's doubtful. ]
Y' know what I used t' do for trainin'? Got a big fuckin' heavy branch, carved that shit up so it was somethin' like a trainin' sword an' swung that 'round 'til it quit bein' difficult.
[ he empties another cup and wishes this was all over too. there's less guilt involved trying to drink himself into a stupor than when he's doing it in someone else's body. ]
Ain't no master or nothin'. 'Cause when I was strong enough t' beat everybody who was s'posed t' be teachin' me somethin' I got bored and fucked off. Rider's the guy who knows how t' do shit like that. Got one of those li'l certificates or whatever says ya know what the fuck yer doin'...
[ he appreciates the attempt, he does, but he's very stubbornly convinced that he doesn't have a thing to offer anyone that isn't his ability to kill. at least kate can continue appreciating the fact that she's probably doing pretty good for herself... by comparison? ]
Ain't expectin' ya t' have answers neither. Already true whatcha said once about how dead things oughta stay dead.
no subject
( that last comment hits home. it's not that she's changed that opinion, not at all. dead things should stay dead. it's less complicated that way. ghosts are stupid constructs of Avalon and she's glad her magic doesn't force her to witness them, and the thought of coming back from the dead just sends a shiver down her spine.
if she's dead, let her rest. and the same should go for Manslayer and his ilk. why drag the dead into the wars of the living?
god. )
What're we doin'...?
( why is she sitting here, trying to convince a dude who doesn't want to be convinced? why are they playing house while the multiverse hangs in the balance? what is the point in all of this?
well. drinking. definitely drinking. definitely getting drunk. )
no subject
[ izō is doodling shapes in the rings of water left on the bar by the cups for a little bit. he's thinking, which usually means he needs to drink more, and he hates thinking. ]
The fuck's in it for him anyway? Or—... anybody? Y' think people can really be happy here? Knowin' what's out there if ya take a walk.
[ meaning the end of the multiverse and all, since he knows that's a field trip some people can make. he has opted out of that, personally. ]
no subject
Think you forget for a while.
( it's been the hardest part of this for her. sure, she knows why she's here, she knows the job they've got and the importance it holds to her loved ones, but when nothing happens for so long, when everyone's going about their days as though nothing is going wrong, you become complacent. you have to find a way to fill the hours between disasters, after all.
it's hard to enjoy this when the weight of why you're there keeps creeping up on you, knocking you breathless with guilt. )
... I do.
( congrats, Manslayer. she's drunk enough to admit that aloud. )
no subject
[ it surprises him a little. probably because she handles her business and no one's making her do that, so he figures she's probably more dutiful about the whole calamity thing than he's ever been. ]
What's real fucked is the day I got here I said "I ain't savin' shit".
[ how dare this place make him care about things??? now look at him. but the disasters all hit a little too close to home, what with the sort of time he grew up in and all. ]
One day I'm gonna say I ain't gettin' involved an' stick with it...
no subject
she needs to work. she doesn't know who she is without it. doesn't want to know who she is without it.
but rip, Izo. she gets that, though. )
Said I were only here to save Marc 'n' Ainsworth. Rest of you could burn for all I care.
( nowadays... she doesn't know how true that is. could she kill Izo if it meant saving her brother and best friend? Caster? Rei? Rider? Thanatos or any of the myriad other people she's grown to enjoy the company of? )